“Oh!!! it's him again..."

“Oh!!! it's him again..."

Tringgg….. tringgg… her cell phone rings.

Oh! Its him… What a time to call, she thinks, but attends the call…

“Hello???” she.

“Hi! Howdy?” he.

“Okaaaay…” stretches it a bit…, impatiently, conveying her already escalating irritation…

What an inopportune time to call, she thinks. She has so much on her mind and then he has to call now. Ok, I’ll just give him a minute and get him off some way.

He’s silent.

“Oh, hello?? Are you there?” Maybe the line got disconnected, she thinks, hopefully.

“Yeah, right here.” He.

“Yes, tell me. What’s special??” She asked, very formally. She didn’t want to sound too curt either.

Uncaring of her irritated tone; “Just remembered you, so I thought why not call you? Nothing important, though. Remember that presentation I had made??”

Now which one was that, she wondered. “oh yeah, that one. did you…???

“Yes yaar, the same. Got a very unexpected response.” He.

Now the cat in her; “Unexpected??”

So it goes on for some time. And then “You’ve been a great help” He continues; “Remember that…”

“Look, I am expecting a very important call, can I call you back?” She had to prevent him jumping into another one of his escapades.

“Sure, I’ll wait for your call. Bye…” He sounds just a bit concerned, again, but disconnects.

Ha!!! What a relief.

How many of these types do you know? I mean the guys you don’t want to talk to, don’t want to be seen with and yes, no use for?

You won’t remember when he came into your life. He just glides into your life. You might have met him in a party eying you from afar. You might have met him in a friend’s place helping out, or just in a bus or train or at some public place. Before you know it, he has smoothly landed in the apron of your life, like an old student to a teacher, like a lost son to a mother or like some old friend, someone you knew from a long time ago, part of your life from yonder.

He just cozies into you with his glib talk, has your cell number and e-mail address before you know it and when you reach home there’s already a mail waiting for you in your inbox and that message tone you hear is his message of thanks to you.

He’s one of those flirty characters, sometime overbearing or even patronizing. He’s the one with that ‘holier than thou’ attitude. He’s that ‘know all’ kind of fellow. Probably he thinks too much of himself. Sometimes he suffocates you, constricts your thoughts, just real pain in the ‘you-know-where’ kinda guy…

You would love to ‘hate’ him, but for some reason you won’t do that, someway you are always in contact. You remember and call him when you are stuck, want to know something, something about something, some consultation. Then brush him off, coz he doesn’t stop talking, but you probably got what you wanted. He triggers something with his non-stop yapping…

He isn’t someone despicable or despised. He isn’t someone who troubles you for something or other. He isn’t someone who owes you money you’d loaned him, nor is he that one who keeps asking for help. Though he’s just useless, he’s always around, just around the corner when you want him. When you think of him, he’s probably already dialing your number and, when connected, will probably tell you that he was thinking about you.

Oh! Then there is nothing he’s not adept at, or so he probably feels. He has an answer to give for everything, a comment on every issue and an answer to every situation, and he’ll, unabashedly, voice it even though he isn’t asked to, or expected to. He makes you feel better, or he’ll try to, if he feels you are sad or in dumps or in deep s**t. He’ll talk inconsequential things, things that aren’t important at that moment, that hour or day. But he’ll blabber on, almost as if he has guessed your mental condition. He speaks you out of that mental condition, weans you away from your present thoughts.

He’ll make you feel on top of the World, praise you high, ‘chane ke ped par chadhaata hai’ kind of guy.

He keeps you interested for a few minutes, gives a lift of sorts to your drooping spirits, makes you laugh at some silly jokes he brings out of some freezer… old and oft heard ones… but he uses them in such an irrelevant and silly kind of way, you can’t but laugh. He’ll make you feel wanted. He’ll make you angry or happy, chirpy or just cross if you want to be changed. He changes the mood you are in, for good or bad, you forget what you were doing or were busy at. He’s absolutely useless otherwise, but he’ll listen to you…

He’s also a human being. He also has his own sorrows and happiness. He, also, falls in love, mostly one sided, as he doesn’t express it but keeps it to himself. You wouldn’t know whether he’s in love with you or not, but you’ll always feel so, mistake his flirting nature, hence you are a bit wary, a bit concerned. Sometime you are really annoyed and reprimand him and push him out of your life. You hope never to see him again, never to talk to him again.

Oh! He’ll feel the rebuff, be pained, feel bad and dejected but he’ll just get up, dust his cloths, comb his hair, smile at himself and the World and out he goes. He’s back again for one more round of romance or being useless and always at the beck n call of the girl he has decided to latch on.

Till one day you miss him, you think about him, and then…

your phone rings…

-------------------- Ken Featherlite --------------------